I’m a bit crap at finding balance in my life. I have too many highs, which can lead to too many lows of course.

I say to myself, ‘Sarah, you want to be somewhere in the middle, not so uppy downy, how about a gentle ripple?’.

The trouble with that is, I rather love the feelings I get when I’m up in the sky, carefree and having to be careful I don’t blind people with my smile or shoot golden sparks from my nipples, bum, fingertips.

I even don’t mind the idea of being down too much (until I get there), as, well, it all means I’m FEELING stuff. Doesn’t it!

So do I try and squidge myself into a more sensible, even keel.. or do I focus on being incredibly productive during up times and while I’m at it, figure out what triggers those and make sure I create the right environment to keep me there more frequently?

I think I answered my own question.

Balls to boring! I want more RawRRR!

(If I could purr now I would – instead I shall make a noise like a constipated cat farting x)

PS. The bird doing the crow in the photo is the delicious Emma Couttie from RawFoodScotland.com – check her oot!

Happy 2012 to you! I’m starting off my new year with one major new intention

Keep My Word

Keep my word to myself first and foremost, as well as to others.

How many times have I said I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired of feeling like I’m in the same old place? Which is why I go silent on this blog so frequently – because I’m boring myself with the same old crap that comes out of my mouth, so you sure as hell must be too!

Something has to change!

That change for me has come in the form of being an action taker, not just a talker.

Not that I necessarily have to complete everything that I start, as, let’s face it, some things turn out to be a fricking bad idea and some things offer you opportunities further down the line that put a fork in the road and I want to be open to change and going with what FEELS right.

Get my head outta the way!!!

So last Summer is when I started stepping up and keeping my gob shut more and putting first one foot forward, then another, and another.

I caught up with my friend Bird today and she said to me, “Sarah, have you celebrated everything you achieved in 2011?” And I looked at her a bit blankly. Huh?

Immediately my mind started cataloguing all the things I’ve ever said over the years that I would do and never done, drowning out the good bits. But yes, there have actually been many, in quite a short space of time!

She reminded me that I took charge of my life, sold all my stuff, went travelling – on my own, changed my diet to that  of a balanced vegetarian and as a result, EFFORTLESSLY, reduced my weight from the horrifying 12 stone I reached at my pinnacle in September (not a great accomplishment), to what I am today.

Yep, here’s the video.. I warn you it contains scenes of wobbly bits, grey skin, wrinkles, horrendous bad hair and zero makeup! Read more…

Yep, after three months in Portugal, I’m back in Blighty. Back in time to experience the full-on biting winds of the south coast of England in Winter that make my eyes stream in an instant.

Tears.

Tears of joy maybe? Hmmm. People keep asking me what it’s like to be back – is it any different? How am I feeling? What’s changed?

Read more…

Making change happen in my life. It’s something I realise I tend to build up to.. My sister often asks me “Sarah, how bad does the pain have to get before you change something?” More often than not, the answer is, ermmm… quite bad.

So, harking back to my previous post, the pain of feeling empty, a bit lost and in search of ‘feeling happy’ led me to ask myself what I really wanted. I was single, my kids were wrapped up in their own lives, so what now? Writing in my journal helped me pour everything whirling around in my head, out, and clarity came to me.

Travel.

Time on my own, feeling free of responsibility.

Be me (whatever that meant – I wasn’t totally sure but needed to find out)

Read more…

As you may know, I got divorced this year.

That’s a very old, long ago story and I’m not mentioning it to regurgitate anything, I just wanted to tell you that the piece of paper telling me I was finally, officially divorced, is what set into place a series of events that made me sit down and ask myself..

“so Sarah, what do you want?”

..which led to me answering myself that I wanted to take action – walk my talk – be the person I keep talking about wanting to be.

I want to be healthy, vital, full of energy and looking fewking sexy (or sexier, as my friends insist on positively reinforcing for me).

I’ve not managed to do that under my own steam in years, (yes, I DID manage once before). So what could I do differently that would help me now?

That was the key – stop the insanity of trying the same thing over and over again and hoping for a different result.

So…

Read more…

I struggle. I gain clarity. Then my mind kicks in with a 100 different scenarios and a thousand more possibilities.  Add other people’s opinions into the mix to make the overwhelm complete and instead of unleashing the beast to the world, my little seed of divine inspiration gets buried again.

And the reason I know it’s divine inspiration and not just another ‘good idea’?

Read more…

• The Sarah Cairncross Daily is out! http://t.co/BtLZpd1 ▸ Top stories today via @waynebuckhanan @johntunger #
• “Eventually, what seems strange, becomes common. What seemed impossible, becomes real” The Beaver #
• “Crazy is pretending to be happy” The Beaver #

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• Fk! I lost my greenfingers RT @HealthRanger: Why is George Soros selling gold and buying farmland? http://t.co/obOrNkV #
• RT @_NealeDWalsch: Your feelings never lie. They do not know how to. They tell you exactly what you are being in any moment. #
• .@HenrysTravels aww I don’t really have any photos as my battery died – a few people took photos of me tho.. Ermm #
• .@WayneBuckhanan I’m a bit crap at chatting up guys – straights would’ve just talked to my boobs, hell, the gays just talked to my boobs! #
• .@WayneBuckhanan yes, I think you’re probably right. I shall continue to avoid the issue for a while longer & just have fun with friends #
• The Sarah Cairncross Daily is out! http://t.co/BtLZpd1 ▸ Top stories today via @judithmorgan @brilliantjeni #
• The Sarah Cairncross Daily is out! http://t.co/BtLZpd1 ▸ Top stories today via @claireboyles @mywifequit @johnalanis @michellem #

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I’ve been quiet. Mulling things over, looking into my heart instead of my head for direction in my life. Many things are changing and I will start writing about these here again..

In the meantime I’ve been devouring romance novels, some completely arse and formulaic and some, thankfully, with some deeper occasional insights.  I’d like to share a few with you that I’ve just read… Read more…

• The Sarah Cairncross Daily is out! http://bit.ly/f9SWv7 ▸ Top stories today via @mintblogger #
• Good morning! Fresh now after Playgroup Festival experience this weekend, feeling happy & listening to ALTA #housemusic http://ht.ly/5Xuxc #
• The Sarah Cairncross Daily is out! http://bit.ly/f9SWv7 ▸ Top stories today via @tripwiremag # Read more…