Monthly Archives: January 2012

Trust

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Trust in your Self, Trust in Love - image is copyright Sarah Cairncross, all rights reserved

Trust and what it means to me.

I don’t know about you but 2012 is already one of massive healing and transformation for me.  I shall share something now that I learned about myself yesterday. Something about trust and love and who I really am.

Stuff keeps presenting itself to me, over and over and over again. In different ways, with different people but all evoke the same feelings within me – shouting at me “HEAL THIS”. There is obviously a common theme, so obvious in fact, that even I can’t miss it.

Or maybe I’m just getting better at looking within and asking myself – what is it in me that needs to be healed?

Are you reading this and thinking – errrr ok Sarah, wtf are you talking about? *lol*

Ok, basically, what I believe, is that everything I experience is ‘my story’ – the story of my life. The things I experience are manifested by me in order that I may learn and grow and remember Who I Really Am.

And the biggest, most painful ones are only that way as I’ve ignored the numerous little nudges and simply repeated the same old patterns and hoped for a different outcome. Nuts. As we all know, that is the definition of insanity!

So now I look at things as being in a state of love or unlove.

That was driven home to me by recently reading Deepak Chopra’s novel The Daughters of Joy. Brilliant message and why I had to go buy a copy which I’m sending to a friend and maybe it will get passed on by her too.

So when I am feeling any strong negative emotion I try and remember to ask myself, ‘Why is there unlove here? Why am I disconnected? What needs to be heard, understood, forgiven, loved?’

Often, I do not know, it is not clear. Or I think I know but I have not begun to scratch the surface and reveal the layers, wash them clean, so the wound can heal.

At times like this I simply aim to become aware. NOTICE my state of unlove. And start saying to myself on repeat, the words of Ho’oponopono. I say these words to ME, to my negative emotions, thoughts and feelings.

“I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you”

I say this over and over, or part of it, silently to myself until I feel calm again. Or if I’m really stressed, I’ll say it out loud *lol*

I have no idea, why, but it helps me. I recommend you give it a go too ;o)

So anyway, back to my story of what happened to me this weekend… Continue reading →

Finding Balance

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Emma Couttie doing Yoga Crow

 

I’m a bit crap at finding balance in my life. I have too many highs, which can lead to too many lows of course.

I say to myself, ‘Sarah, you want to be somewhere in the middle, not so uppy downy, how about a gentle ripple?’.

The trouble with that is, I rather love the feelings I get when I’m up in the sky, carefree and having to be careful I don’t blind people with my smile or shoot golden sparks from my nipples, bum, fingertips.

I even don’t mind the idea of being down too much (until I get there), as, well, it all means I’m FEELING stuff. Doesn’t it!

So do I try and squidge myself into a more sensible, even keel.. or do I focus on being incredibly productive during up times and while I’m at it, figure out what triggers those and make sure I create the right environment to keep me there more frequently?

I think I answered my own question.

Balls to boring! I want more RawRRR!

(If I could purr now I would – instead I shall make a noise like a constipated cat farting x)

PS. The bird doing the crow in the photo is the delicious Emma Couttie from RawFoodScotland.com – check her oot!

 

New Year, New Intentions

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First Weigh-In for 2012
Happy 2012 to you! I’m starting off my new year with one major new intention

Keep My Word

Keep my word to myself first and foremost, as well as to others.

How many times have I said I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired of feeling like I’m in the same old place? Which is why I go silent on this blog so frequently – because I’m boring myself with the same old crap that comes out of my mouth, so you sure as hell must be too!

Something has to change!

That change for me has come in the form of being an action taker, not just a talker.

Not that I necessarily have to complete everything that I start, as, let’s face it, some things turn out to be a fricking bad idea and some things offer you opportunities further down the line that put a fork in the road and I want to be open to change and going with what FEELS right.

Get my head outta the way!!!

So last Summer is when I started stepping up and keeping my gob shut more and putting first one foot forward, then another, and another.

I caught up with my friend Bird today and she said to me, “Sarah, have you celebrated everything you achieved in 2011?” And I looked at her a bit blankly. Huh?

Immediately my mind started cataloguing all the things I’ve ever said over the years that I would do and never done, drowning out the good bits. But yes, there have actually been many, in quite a short space of time!

She reminded me that I took charge of my life, sold all my stuff, went travelling – on my own, changed my diet to that  of a balanced vegetarian and as a result, EFFORTLESSLY, reduced my weight from the horrifying 12 stone I reached at my pinnacle in September (not a great accomplishment), to what I am today.

Yep, here’s the video.. I warn you it contains scenes of wobbly bits, grey skin, wrinkles, horrendous bad hair and zero makeup! Continue reading →